From My Latest Book--"Just A Brooklyn Kid"

The Next Round’s On Me

One evening I got a paying gig over at Winner’s Circle, where I played my guitar and sang for fifty bucks, drinks and tips; it was also another one of my haunts, a bar on Metropolitan Avenue next door to a Bistro called The Metro owned by my friend Steve Pullman who hired a young comedian named Andy Kauffman for his first public performance ever. Steve came running next door and said “Sammy, you got to see this!” I was on a break so went. I saw Andy was just starting his second show. Andy looked and acted just like a zany goof ball and when he put a small phonograph on stage and played a record of the “Mighty Mouse” kids show and acted and lip-synced all the words I was floored. Then he turned combed his hair and threw up his collar turned back and was “Elvis Presley!” The transformation was stunning! This guy was fantastic I knew a future star when I saw one and that’s what Andy Kauffman became a TV Star on the show “Taxi!” This night was truly for the books.

I went back to the Winner’s Circle and was finishing my third and last set when Jay W., Tommy V. and Donny P, Firemen and guy’s I hung with came in plastered, stoned, and higher than Ladder Nine with fist full of mad money which they threw on the bar and told Tommy Graham, a Prince and the owner “These drinks are on us!” I finished and walked over to guys and it was obvious they were drinking all day and I asked what’s up? Tommy and Donny could hardly talk and Jay slurring his words and started to tell me what happened. He said “Sam old pal, we stopped by this bar in Glendale where we decided to meet after work to have a few. The owner was behind the bar when I said ‘hey barkeep,’ this bar is kinda low. The owner said ‘I know, I hired a guy to raise the bar but he never showed’ Tommy said ‘how much were you going to pay him, because Donny here is a Carpenter.’ The owners said ‘I was going to pay and I’m still willing to pay five hundred for the job.’ ‘Jay said we’ll do it!’ (Donny didn’t say much but Donny’s hands were those of a Master Carpenter—his hands were gold). The owner said ‘look fellers, I’ll clear the bar and close down till this afternoon, take what ever you want—I got a fresh keg on tap—I got to run to the bank and some stuff to do—are you sure you can handle the job?’ Donny already had his tools from the car and the owner could see they were the tools of a professional and that convinced him. He said ‘here’s the keys just incase’ and left. He knew the boy’s, The Bravest from the NYCFD could be trusted.

Jay said the first thing we did was pour some beers then went to the John and bled the snake. Donny using his favorite expression said ‘I got to square root this thing.’ Took out a folding ruler and measured the bar and said ‘ this is going to be some job, but I got an idea. ‘Why don’t I just shorten the stools six inches!

Donny said ‘I just got to be careful the legs don’t wobble’ and carefully went to work with Jay and Tommy watching drinking beer and admiring Donny’s work and goofing off having a good time. Donny took the rubber fittings off each leg, measured carefully and began cutting. He covered the raw ends with wood stain returned the rubber fittings and was finished in less than a half hour. Not one stool had the slightest wobble although Jay and Tommy fell off a couple laughing so hard and already drunk as skunks!

Donny took the base board off and re-nailed it and spread some saw dust on top, in and around the bar and joined in the drinking—he said ‘ I got to catch up to you guys.’

The owner finally came back. Looked at the bar and sat on a stool handed them five hundred dollars and said ‘nice work fellers. Jay said ‘he never knew the difference but got what he wanted—not what he asked for, but what he wanted.”

These are guys, funny as hell, guys that will rush into a burning building, crawl through dense black smoke and save your baby and his puppy too. These are guys who are trained with minds that can quickly react and adjust to any situation without a lick of concern for their own lives. May God bless and preserve them as he admires his handy work…