Quintessential Italian Food and Dining?

Funny You Should Ask

Humor and Satire by Asta Dido

 

Quintessential Italian Food and Dining?

 

The quintessential Italian Food is Napolitano—it’s delicious, hardy and full bodied and what most Americans are used to especially Neapolitan Pizza. But, when it comes to the exotic mind blowing fantastic tasting food you are talking about eating at a Sicilian table! Some of the food and dishes I’m about to tell you about may not be to your taste but, if you are an adventurous sort you can, by going “Siggi” (akin to going native) reach the heights of epicurean delights!

 

Sicily is a triangular island off the tip of the boot of Italy. It was called Trinacria in ancient times. The Greeks and Romans had similar names for Trinacria because of its shape. It lies not far from the coast of North Africa. Basta, enough, of geography and on to some of the history. Sicila was colonized by the Greeks and used as a vacation paradise and Greek ruins can still be found there. The Greeks knew a good thing when they saw it and so did the Moors, Norse, French and every one else—it was invaded more than seventeen times with each invader bringing its own “pots and pans” so to speak and when you add that it is surrounded by some of the most tantalizing waters of the Mediterranean teeming with almost every sea critter on earth you can begin to understand  what makes Sicilian Cooking so special. Sicilians will dine on almost every kind of seafood imaginable including pulpo (octopus) arietsi (sea urchins) calamari (squid), babbaluggia (sea snails) scungili (conch) and clams and mussels galore and of course tutti peschi;  baccala, smoked herring and all the fish there is! For almost all the inhabitants the seashore is never more that a short drive unless you live atop the still active volcano, Mt Etna. Dinning al fresco on the beach and even taking “Piettata,” ( roughly means little stone) something like a miniature abalone right from the rocks and eating it raw I experienced first hand while on a picnic with my relatives. Even without lemon, it was absolute yummy! Marsala, where my father hails and where I have visited as a young man, is on Sicily’s South Shore and is world famous for its wine; It’s called it Marsala Wine and it is a pure ambrosia for it is fit emperors and peasants alike. Any sauce made from “Marsala” and mushrooms will turn even the most common fare into a feast that will dance with delight on your palate and darn near make you faint with pleasure!

 

Because of their diet, Sicilians have about the lowest rates of cancer and heart attacks anywhere! My father’s mother, Nonna, lived to be 102 years old and at 90 she still had her own teeth and had not the need for eyeglasses. Even the land and the climate itself is extraordinary  and suited for growing all kinds of fruits and vegetables and the fabulous light green grapes that go into making Marsala Wine; a wine so marvelous it makes every other wine on earth including Chateau Lifit Rothchild look like grape juice. As previously mentioned and worth repeating, even cooking  with Marsala is magical if not mystical—ask any great chef and watch his toque develop a halo!

 

My father used to tell me stories about farming in Sicily where the figs were pui tanti, that big, and make a gesture the size of a football with his hands. Ok, yes, he talked with his hands too. He and the poor family he came from were “the salt of the earth” no cosa nostra, mafia, gangsters or fascists—pure simple farm folks. He would tell me of working real hard in the fields 24/7 with a short break for lunch which consisted of a loaf of bread and an onion and on Christmas and Easter a piece of cheese. His eyes would roll around like he was in a state of ecstasy in the telling. Pop was a great story teller and when I asked him about the Mafia after seeing “The Godfather”-- he told me this: When the French occupied the land, a young Sicilian man, on his wedding day, was coming to the church with his family in one direction and his bride-to-be with her family, as was the custom, in another. On the way the bride-to-be was accosted by a troop of French soldiers and the young girl gang raped. Being not far away, the young man heard the cries, Sal va tore, Sal va tore, Sal va tore, echoing through the town and he ran to her aid and strangled the offending rapist soldier to death with his bare hands. One of the French soldiers stuck a bayonet into his back and with his dieing breath he cried “Morte Ala Francia Italia Ailla” – the letters M A F I A and meaning Death to all Frenchmen is Italy’s Cry. To this day I don’t know if that story is true but if you take time to read about The Sicilian Vespers where almost every French person where murdered at the same time (and probably where Mario Puzzo got his inspiration for  “baptism church scene in The Godfather I”). Any Frenchman that escaped and tried to hide or disguise themselves, (some as women) when confronted had to say the word babbaluggia, a word no Frenchman could correctly say; and if that word was not properly pronounced he would sleep with the babbaluggia, sea snails, as companions throughout eternity. Finito? Not quite!

 

Am I being paid by the Sicilian Chamber of Commerce for this story? Funny you should ask! No, this is just a labor of amore! Incidentally, babbaluggia are steamed, and prepared with olive oil, garlic, parsley, salt and fresh ground black pepper and removed from the snail’s shell with a hat or safety pin, dipped in its juice and sometimes, melted butter and tastes like escargot! Oh, my, I hope you like escargot; anyway you better learn to say     ba ba luge gia correctly…

 

Asta Dido

 

Basta, As I always say “if you can’t laugh at yourself , others will!

 

Asta Dido is the pen name of Sam DiBernardo who is a Candidate for New York’s City Council District 32 Queens…